Fears can be so difficult to overcome; after all, we’re fearful of them for a reason. Yet, life continues to put us in situations that force us to confront them. In our current COVID-19 environment, this particular fear of the unknown has come down upon us, and now more than ever, we need to learn how to cope. In this pilot episode, Wen Chi Chien guides us through it. How can we understand that fear of the unknown and work our way from there? How can we look at it in the face? Wen answers these questions and more. Plus, she also introduces us to the Inner Twin Idea, helping us live incredibly better lives by learning how to tap into our conscience and realize the power we have over our situations.
As a performer and content creation coach, and someone who’s definitely experienced his fair share of anxiety, I’d heard about the Inner Twin work and I wanted to learn more. I had the pleasure of interviewing Wen Chi Chien. Wen Chi is the Founder of the Zen Institute, a mental health treatment center in Tucson, Arizona. She’s also the Creator of Inner Twin Therapy and learning more about her incredible story and how she discovered her own inner twin and how she uses it to help other people live incredibly better lives. Check out this episode, you’re not going to want to miss it.
We’re talking about the fear of the unknown. Do you feel like when you’re experiencing the fear, a lot of times, the last thing you want to do is examine it? How do you help people understand what the unknown is and work their way from there? The first thing is, how does someone look the unknown in the face and go like, “I know what you are,” without emotion, without the fear skewing them away from it? How does someone connect with the unknown and articulate what the unknown is for themselves?
Believe it or not, most of the people are not so in touch with their feelings. What we do with the feelings, we get scared instead of facing it. We go drinking, drugging, open our refrigerator, put things in the mouth, forget about it, get on social media and trying to numb it out. That is not problem-solving. That fear of the unknown, we cannot push it down and hope it will disappear. It will never disappear. Some people go smoking pot, calm down or popping pills, but that will never solve the problem. It will not go away by itself. How are you going to recognize the fear of the unknown? First, you have to be able to feel your emotion, your feelings. When we are not able to feel our feelings, it’s like when you need to use the bathroom and you don’t allow yourself to use the bathroom. What happens is you shit in your pants. It comes out one way or the other.
When we are not able to feel our feelings or not allowing ourselves to feel that fear, we’re doing those things that are self-destructive. First thing first is to have the courage to feel your feelings. How do you have the courage to feel your feelings? I sell one ounce of courage in our jar for $5, “Wen Chi’s Courage.” You need to have the courage to feel your feelings and then feel that fear. Some people do feel fear and then they go extreme. They say, “I’m having a panic attack. My heart is jumping out of my chest and my palm is sweating. I feel like I’m going crazy. The world is going to close in on me. What do I do? I need to go to the ER.” Then all kinds of tests are done, “You’re fine.” “What happened to me?” “You had a panic attack. Here’s Xanax, Ativan, Klonopin, take some pills.” You then become addicted to Klonopin, Ativan, all the medications. America is so addicted to drugs. How many people died from a drug overdose? A lot.
What is the Inner Twin idea and how does it support you when you’re anxious or when you’re scared?
Cope With Fear: The ego is trying to make you believe that you are the mistake that you have made in the past.
First of all, I want to talk about naturally, when we were a little child that we look for mommy and daddy, all external support, validation and approval. As an adult, we were never taught how to reach in and get support from within. As you know, everything outside of you is out of your control 100%. What do you do? Most of the time, we’re like having emotional diarrhea. Eventually, they will go away, they can’t handle that. How much longer can you talk about those things? The most important thing is to learn to reach inside and tap into your inner power. What is your inner twin? Inner twin is your conscience, that little voice that tells you what is right, what is wrong. You hear that little voice say, “No, don’t do it.”
It sometimes comes up as intuition, “That’s not a good idea.” I’ll give you an example. I used to love potato chips. I’ll eat a big bag of potato chips. Halfway down, I hear the little voice say, “Wen Chi, stop it. You’re going to feel fat and guilty afterwards.” “I’ll deal with it later.” When it’s gone though, “I did it again.” It’s a vicious cycle. What is the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. We all are insane. We’re all drama queens. How many of us keep going to that place, “What if?” We make horror movies all day long, 100 movies a day. What is that fueled by? Fear of the unknown, making the worst. We use our imagination in the wrong way and believe the worst thing can happen. As a human being, we’re powerful. We can make ourselves very sick.
When was the first time where you interacted with the inner twin where the inner twin came out and saved you? Did the inner twin came out of nowhere? Was there a time where you were in an unknown situation?
I’m going to tell you how I discovered my inner twin. It was when I first came to the United States, the first year my dad died out of a heart attack and then my husband abandoned me. I had to get everything I have, a car and get a job. I got a job at the group home. It was the second day at work, I was working as a direct care staff and then I came to work at about 11:00 AM. The lead staff told me, “Wen Chi, all you need to do tonight is to go to a grocery store and get these groceries for this month. Here’s the $300. Go ahead and get them and come back by 3:00, then the majority of your work is done.” As I look at this grocery list, I started having a panic attack. I didn’t know what Q-tip is. What is Kleenex? What is Jell-O? I was so embarrassed. I didn’t want her to see how nervous I was, I just walked to the car. I see the car I’m going to drive is a fifteen-passenger seat, a big van. To remind you, a month ago, I just got my driver’s license. Now, I have to get in the van, drive on the highway and 30 minutes later to this grocery store.
Cope With Fear: You can’t find your inner twin in the past or the future. You can only find your inner twin right here, right now in the present.
I got in the car, I started having this severe panic attack. My legs were uncontrollably shaky, and my palms were sweating. I was trying to look at my Chinese-English dictionary. I tried to find out what is Jell-O? What is Kleenex? What is Q-tip? None of them was listed in my Chinese-English dictionary. What did I do? My mind was going, “I’m going to be fired and I’m going to be homeless. I can’t put myself through school. I’m going to be deported.” All of the what-ifs came to me. I felt like I want to run away, I want to disappear on this planet. All of a sudden, I hear that little voice telling me, “Wen Chi, you can continue to sit here in the dark and panicking about it, or let’s turn on the key and go. Which one would you rather choose?” I thought about it and then said, “Let’s go. What other choice do I have?” I turned on the engine and took off.
Thirty minutes later, I run to the grocery store and there were three people who came out to greet me. “Sweetheart, what do you need? How are you doing? It’s cold tonight, isn’t it?” “I just got to this country not long ago and my English is not good. I’m supposed to get this big list of the groceries and I don’t even know what they are. Would you please help me?” She said, “Sweetheart, no problem. We can get it right away. You just stand in here and relax.” Twenty minutes later, they came back with two big, full carts of groceries. The guys said, “Where did you park? Let’s help you load it all in your car. There’s no problem at all. We made it within such a short period of time.” I was grateful that this is happening. I didn’t have to look aisle by aisle and look for every single thing on the list. I came back to work and the lead staff said, “You come back half an hour earlier than expected. Now, all you need to do to is cook breakfast.” I was happy that I was able to make it back and I was able to keep my job. From that point on, I have a little glimpse of, “At the moment, no one was there to help me. As long as I can tune in to that part of me that knows how to guide me that is wise, I’m going to be okay.” That was the beginning of my inner twin discovery, my inner twin journey.
Wen Chi, I’m sorry you had to go through that. That’s horrific. That’s everyone’s biggest fear, to go to a new country or any situation, it doesn’t have to be new, but to be in a situation where you have no clue how to ask for help. There’s an immediate agreement like, “I’m not going to be able to do this.” The mistakes feel like, “I’m going to be deported and I would be homeless.” Isn’t that funny how we always react, fight or flight like that to situations? How does the ego interact with the inner twin there?
I use this analogy especially when you’re in a conflict. The good angel says, “I hate that.” The bad angel says, “A little sip is not a big deal. We can handle it.” The good angel says, “No. Remember you got a DUI already. You shouldn’t be drinking.” The ego is trying to make you believe all the things that are not you, use those things that are not you to define who you are, such as what you have, your relationship, your career choice, your possession, your relationships, all of that. The ego is trying to make you believe that you are the mistake that you have made in the past. It will get you stuck in the past and take you to the future, all the what-ifs to scare you to death. My favorite quote from a Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu, “If you’re depressed, you live in the past. If you’re anxious, you live in the future. If you’re at peace, you live in the present.” That is the reason why it’s important to live in the present. Being mindful is all about being present.
If someone is reading this and they’re in the thick of something, whether it be Corona, whether it be anything, hopefully people read this down the road, after the fact. They’re confronting some big unknown. What are your tools to help them on their own DIY, where they can work through it and feel better as a result, and then they can get the resources and ask for help? What are the tools to fix it?
First of all, your inner twin or your conscience is that part of you that knows you the best. The inner twin is the same age as you. The inner twin knows all your struggles, your traumas, your triumphs, your talents and everything. If you allow your inner twin to guide you, and for you to feel love and support from your inner twin, then you feel you are able to breathe. In other words, I say, “A toaster is not a toaster if it’s not plugged into the electricity.” You are not your authentic self without connected to your inner twin. Your inner twin is your conscience, your higher self, your authentic self, your inner being. Be in alignment with your inner twin. It’s the only way you can live a life that is full of love, peace and joy, and honor who you are. When you choose to be with your inner twin, you are able to ignore or push aside what your ego is talking about.
When you let go of everything that is not you, what is left is who you truly are. That is pure love, pure peace, pure joy. That’s what you’re made of. You’re made with the same energy that created this universe. Therefore, you are powerful beyond measure, and that is the power you have by connecting to your inner twin and live a life that is honoring who you are and set your path straight, enjoy your life to the fullest. You can’t find your inner twin in the past or the future. You can only find your inner twin right here, right now in the present.
Congratulations. Now you know that there is someone who loves and cares about you. I can’t wait for you to build a loving relationship with your inner twin. If you want to read other episodes of this show, you may visit WenChiChien.com. Stay tuned for more episodes to come. Until next time, be the amazing and powerful you
Inner Twin Therapy
WenChiChien.com
www.MyZenInstitute.com
www.InnerTwinRevolution.com
www.BeyondRevolution.Coach
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